What is A Toxic Relationship?
The word “relationship” has a profound meaning in itself. It actually means to be related to another. However, a relationship is not just about bonding physically or the blood you share with another. It is about how you connect on a deeper level – which is emotionally and spiritually.
So, what is a toxic relationship, and why is it necessary to understand its cause and let go of them? It is natural for human beings to build actual and real relationships where they can grow in every aspect of life. Unfortunately, most of us are trapped in this conditioning of superficial bonding and relations.
A healthy relationship is sane, logical, emotional, and spiritual. Being related to someone doesn’t always mean a couple; it also includes your families, friends, colleagues, etc. It has the quality of understanding and honesty between each other.
Genuine and healthy relationships require tremendous intelligence and compassion, where decisions are made together, and discussions are always open. Trust, honesty, good communication, and individuality are the outcomes of these relationships.
Toxic relationships are always unstable and require unnecessary compromise and arguments. Most people will say good things, but their intention would indicate otherwise. So, how would you know if you were in a toxic relationship?
It is pretty simple. For this, you need constant observation of how you act in your daily life. A toxic relationship involves violent acts (verbal or physical), criticism, disrespect, and manipulative behaviors. You may tolerate this with your partner and eventually take your anger or frustration out on other people.
This will not be healthy for you or for the people around you. Frequently engaging in these relationships will drain your self-esteem and overall energy. The abusive behavior will gradually suck the joy out of one’s life.
Signs of A Toxic Relationship:
1) Over-possessiveness:
Being possessive is a quality that defines your self-interest or ego. If this is taken too far, it can lead to major disturbances in one’s relationship. Negative emotions such as jealousy, abuse, stalking, anger, and resentment can influence your daily life.
This type of relationship indicates that one is insecure and selfish and will try to gain control over their partner at all times.
2) Over-dependent Partner
You or your partner can be overdependent on the other. This happens due to a lack of responsibility and commitment. These people also happen to be controllers who want you to make every decision for them. They tend to do this because they want to hold the other person responsible for the outcome of that decision.
They will show passive-aggressive behavior such as ignoring you, not talking to you, or pouting when they don’t get pleasure from your decisions. This behavior is a powerful means of control where you will likely experience anxiety and fear due to the constant worrying about the effects of your decisions on your partner.
3) Manipulative Behavior
In a healthy relationship, there is no need to test your partner’s feelings or emotions because of the solid foundation and understanding between each other.
People in toxic relationships always suspect their partners over and over again. Some may even cross a point where they want to spread jealousy to seek revenge deliberately.
4) Dishonesty
Being dishonest to yourself is the same as being unfair to your partner. Lying about your whereabouts to avoid spending time with your partner or their reaction indicates that you are not being authentic and honest.
This situation calls for serious self-reflection because it will only lead to more and more lies and trust issues.
5) Lack of Time And Space
One gets attached or dependent on the other for love, attention, or physical intimacy. This is definitely not a good sign as it can be disastrous for the other person who wants space from time to time.
Growth happens only if there is enough space within and around oneself. Therefore, space and time are essential for a healthy and sane relationship.
How To Get Out Of A Toxic Relationship
You might get all the signs and motivation for leaving a toxic relationship behind. However, it can be difficult and taxing. So, it is crucial to understand that you cannot change your partner. You can only change yourself. At the same time, it is better to have a support system and find ways to improve your well-being.
1) Contact Your Close Ones
Before breaking up with your partner, make sure you have a support system. Even a toxic breakup can make you feel sad, depressed, conflicted, and confused. It would be easier only if the relationship lasted for a short time.
Focus on talking to someone close when you decide to get out of a relationship. Research suggests that having a close friend or family during distressing times can decrease psychological stress significantly.
2) Write Down Your Emotions
Generally, you may feel like writing down your thoughts, feelings, and emotions would be the last thing you want to do. This happens because you may suspect that writing it down can only worsen it.
Expressing your emotions in the form of writing can make you anxious and sad at that particular time. But fast-forward a few weeks, and you will eventually gain more clarity about your emotions and also notice physical benefits, such as:
- Improved mood
- Lower blood pressure
- Improved immune system
3) Let Go of Them Completely
Cutting off contact with your partner is crucial once the relationship has ended. Keeping in constant contact can make you feel like getting back together again. Also, toxic people have a tendency to be emotionally manipulative. They can use that as a means to lure you back in.
So, when you decide to leave the relationship, put an end to any form of communication unless you share children.
4) Plan Your After-journey
Once you have decided to leave your toxic partner, plan out your life on how you will deal with the transition. Having a career can be of great help. However, if you don’t, you can consider doing something out of your passion or acquiring new skills, etc.
Also, financial independence is vital to your freedom in life. Ensure to stay clear on your path so that happiness comes to you effortlessly.
5) Practice Self-care
Going away from a long-term relationship can indeed be taxing. Nevertheless, don’t forget to address your physical and emotional needs. That includes clean food, the right amount of sleep, exercising, engaging in your favorite hobby, and surrounding yourself with positive people.
Keeping track of all these things can benefit your physical and mental health and assist in healing.