Before getting into the context of toxic relationships, let’s be clear on healthy relationships. The healthy ones are always pure and full of love. It’s not just about a couple but they also include families, friends, and so on. True relationships happen only when there is an understanding between one another.
In healthy relationships, there could be small fights on disagreements but in the end, it all works out no matter what. Decisions are always made together and discussions are always open and genuine. Partners always follow through with each other’s decisions. (1)
Whereas in toxic relationships, it’s quite the opposite. They always try to blame each other because there is no understanding. One might always feel sad or unhappy after spending time with the other person. One person could also ghost another and the one who is being ghosted doesn’t know what’s happening or whether their partner is still interested to be with them.
These relationships are always unstable. They might say things to each other but their actions would indicate otherwise. Minor issues continue to be arguable and that is toxicity in itself.
How do you know if you are in a toxic relationship? It is simple to point out but to do so you need to be aware of how you feel and act in your daily life. You or your partner may treat each other with disrespect and toxic behaviors and eventually, you might take this anger or frustration on other people.
Both the partners could be physically or emotionally abusive – or they could be both. When there is this kind of behavior towards each other, it is not even a normal relationship, forget about a healthy one. You may feel drained because it is sucking the joy out of your life.
Depending upon the intensity of the relationship, the signs could be subtle or highly obvious. When there is constant emotional drainage, it’s quite easy to recognize the red flags. These signs could be about you, your partner, or the relationship itself.
Here’s how you can identify hidden signs and causes of a toxic relationship:
When you are being dishonest to yourself, you are being dishonest to your partner as well. Lying about your whereabouts or who you are meeting with – whether that’s because you want to avoid spending time with your partner or worrying about how they would react.
This type of situation calls for serious reflection because there is no point in a relationship like that. It certainly shows a lack of trust and understanding.
It doesn’t matter how long you spend time with your partner, at the end of the day you’ll feel lonely. This might be the time to reevaluate yourself and your relationship with the other. That being said, you need to understand why you can’t enjoy your own company and try to work on yourself first before getting into a relationship.
At times, even toxic relationships cause loneliness because there is no intimacy and an emphatic connection with one another.
Being a bit possessive is not that bad. If it is taken too far, it can become a serious issue and lead to major relationship problems. Every type of negative energy such as jealousy, stalking, abuse, and so on can influence your daily life.
Being possessive indicates that you are insecure and selfish, which also means you become controlling and that is definitely not a good sign in a relationship.
In a healthy relationship, you don’t need to test your partner’s feelings. Instead, there is a solid foundation and understanding between one another.
Whereas in the case of a toxic relationship, one might feel the need to test their partner’s feelings from time to time. One can also move to a point where they want to make their partner jealous deliberately – whether to take revenge or due to lack of understanding.
One may become dependent on the other for either love, attention, emotional or physical intimacy. This form of attachment is disastrous and leads you nowhere. Growth is an important part of a relationship and that cannot happen if one doesn’t give space or time to the person who needs it.
A partner may explode with anger, frustration, and rage on their partner or may use intimidation tactics to control the other person. This type of behavior can also mean that the person is abusive to the core.
One may start to shout or yell at you, slam fists into walls, or not allow you to leave the house. This needs tremendous amounts of self-reflection because it is extremely harmful to the person and their partner as well.
There is a perfect balance between giving and taking in a healthy relationship. Both of you recognize what you need for each other. So, there is no drainage of energy. Whereas in a toxic relationship, one cannot realize what the needs of another are or may purposely ignore them.
Conclusion:
Relationships help build your life on emotional and spiritual intimacy. Therefore, don’t get excited to be with someone just because you seek comfort. Without knowing what you want through a relationship, it is bound to get toxic.
Ensure that you and your partner need boundaries and have their own lives to live. Don’t expect your partner to give you all the time in the world, it is simply not possible.
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